My Hypnobabies Homebirth

I know that this isn't a Montessori topic, but I feel like this is something that is so important to share.
Birth, a beautiful, natural, wonderful experience, has been turned into something else in so many people's eyes. Young women are terrified of birth, hearing horror stories from others, seeing the trauma of it on tv and movies. I sure know I was terrified of birth. I thought that it couldn't be anything other than a painful, horrifying experience, and only the most skilled doctors could save you from it!

HOW WRONG I WAS.

I began my journey of learning the truth about birth long before I got pregnant. I watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born" (highly recommended). In the video I saw women giving home at birth in seemingly total comfort. I learned how hospitals and doctors in America have way too many C-Sections, that are totally unnecessary and the cascade of interventions that cause them (pitocin, epidurals, etc).

And when I got pregnant I started doing even more research. I read Birth Without Fear, and Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth and Hypnobirthing. When my friend shared her Hypnobabies home birth experience, I knew it was something I wanted to try.

I started doing the Hypnobabies home study course. Everyday I would listen and repeat affirmations that affirmed the normalcy of childbirth and pregnancy. How natural and normal my body was. How my pregnancy and childbirth could be comfortable and pain free. Everyday I would practice putting myself in a state of total and complete relaxation, practicing cues that would turn my body sensations "off" and going limp and loose. I practiced going to a special place, and breathing down natural anesthesia. I didn't know if these things worked, but I was going to do my best. If I could have the possibility of having a comfortable childbirth, I was going to do everything I could to attain it. I believed completely that my body was MADE to give birth, and natural functions have no reason to be painful and dangerous. So I kept going.

Saturday, one week before I was due, I was settling down to watch Battlestar Galactica at 11:00 when I felt a strange popping inside me...."gas?" i think to myself. So i get up to use the restroom and realize that no, it wasn't gas, and no, i wasn't peeing, my water had broken! I tell my husband and call my midwife. She tells me to get a good nights sleep, and although I'm so excited I try.  I woke up around 2. and then again at 5. I tried to stay in bed as long as i could and sleep, and finally around 7:30 i couldn't stay in bed anymore. My pressure waves (contractions) had started getting more regular. Whenever a wave came, I would "turn off", just go totally limp and loose and not fight the contraction at all. I called my birth-tub lady when the waves were 5 minutes apart, as well as my sister and mother in law who came over. I had moved around, did cat-cow yoga positions, laid in bed, leaned on Axton, leaned on my birthing ball, sat on my birthing ball, i was all over the place! any position that felt good i tried. I listened to my Hypnobabies birthing track, but mostly I just talked to the people around me.

Here i am with my sister, waves are around 5 minutes apart. Totally comfortable, eating a pop cycle

As the waves got closer together, I started saying the word "Peace" which helped me visualize breathing down natural anesthesia to the pressure in my stomach. Although the waves were getting stronger and clsoer together, they never felt overwhelmingly painful. They felt like strong intense pressure. I called my midwife again when they were 3 minutes apart and 45 sec long. since they weren't a minute long, she sent another midwife to monitor my progress, since she was going to be busy until 1:00. She came over and monitored me, I continued to do my thing and turn off during a wave and say "peace".  She texted my midwife "dont' worry, it doesn't seem like she's very far along, it will be awhile". She didn't realize how far along I actually was because I was so calm and comfortable.

As things started to get more intense I would think to myself " i can handle this, but if it get's more intense it might actually start to hurt, i don't' know if i can handle that". Suddenly I felt a little hot and then cold and slightly nauseous. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was in transition. I decided I wanted to get into the tub. I was starting to worry that maybe I wasn't actually in labor, because everything had been so EASY! What if I was just having Braxton Hix and I had called everyone for nothing. What if this was just the beginning of my labor and it was going to get much harder? I decided to STOP WORRYING and listen to what my body was telling me to do. So I listened and  I started feeling very pushy and making "Ahhhhhh"ing noises. my midwife at that point texted my main midwife "Get over here now!".


Just after transformation, sharing a kiss with my husband

That was just 5 minutes after the "don't worry, it will be awhile" text. lol!

I started listening to my "Easy Birthing Time" track and continued to talk and joke in between waves. I realized that this really WAS my birthing time and it WAS going so well, not because I wasn't far enough along, but because my body was MADE to have birth like this, easily and comfortably. So I would turn off and relax in the water during a pressure wave, or if I felt like it, would say "Ahhhhhh" and push. If it was an especially strong pressure wave, I would blow raspberries. This was something I learned from the book on natural childbirth by Ina May. It's impossible to be tight in your bum when you're loose in your mouth. And it worked remarkably well. It felt so  good to push! Seriously, it felt GOOD! Productive, and relieved the pressure.

Pushing felt so good! Waves are less than 1 minute apart, totally happy

My husband was wonderful support to me. He got in the tub with me and supported me when I needed to go limp during a wave. In between pushes I would say things like how grateful I was for the amazing birthing tub, for everyone's support, I would say things like how AWESOME i was doing, how i was actually having FUN! I even joked with my midwife (who got there around 2) how she should give me a discount because I was being such an easy patient. No screaming, no yelling, no panicked breathing. Just talking and saying "peace" or "ahhhh" as I pushed". I felt so proud of myself that I had gone through the first stage and transition so easily without losing confidence. I still felt comfortable, and was able to manage the waves. I asked my midwife, "am i fully dilated? am i pushing against my cervix?" i didn't want to waste all these great pushes i was doing. she said

"honey, you're CROWNING! 5 more pushes like that and she's out!"


Turning off and relaxing when I had a wave helped so much, so did breathing my baby out by saying "Ahhhh" and letting my body push for me!

So  I reached down and felt and could actually feel her head! It was amazing! 5 more pushes, i can do that! I started pushing/letting my body push more and more and repeating affirmations like "I am safe, I can do this" I started pushing more and more and Marie gave me a Bowen move (a type of body work) and i felt the baby totally change position inside me. after she moved, the waves became \almost one constant wave. I pushed more and more and felt burning, I know now i was probably going too fast but I wanted her out! It was only until the last few pushes I actually felt pain (I think this is when I tore). Her head came out, and then with just a few more pushes, the rest of her slipped out! I was amazed! The little  pain i felt with the last few pushes totally disappeared as a grabbed my daughter out of the water as she floated toward me and pulled her to my chest.

8 hours of labor. 2 hours of pushing.

I had done it! We had made a perfect baby! she was healthy,happy and I felt so blessed.

I gave birth in my home, surrounded by family. No doctor restricted me to a bed, told me I couldn't' move around or eat. No doctor told me that I wasn't ready to push yet, or I had to push NOW. I was able to listen to my body. I have such a deep and profound respect for my body now. It knows how to MAKE and give BIRTH to a human being!

and, it knows how to do it without hurting me!

It was the most amazing experience of my life. and made me feel so confident and powerful!

This is why I feel like it's important to share this story. It makes me so sad to think of how many women out there are being told that they are defective, that their bodies are broken, when in reality 95% of women are capable of a totally intervention free birth. How many women are being robbed of a comfortable childbirth simply because they're TOLD it's going to hurt so they BELIEVE it? How many women are being robbed of the confidence they are going to need in themselves and in their body in order to face the challenges of raising a newborn? I can't tell you how much I've drawn on the strength I felt when I gave birth to my daughter in order to get through the challenges of breastfeeding, waking up in the middle of the night, and the exhaustion of being needed by someone so helpless 24/7.

Ladies, you are powerful, believe in yourself! I know that a birth like this isn't possible or right for everyone, but please know that you have the right to pursue the birth thats right for YOU and YOUR BABY! If that's a home birth or hospital birth so be it, but please know you have the choice to make the decision that is right for YOU.