No more diapers!
The dream of every
parent with a baby and toddler, to never change another diaper ever again! But
this is further and further off for most parents. Children in America on
average are starting to toilet train later and later, some waiting until 3
years old! 2 more years of diapers is
not my idea of a good time, nor my wallet's.
So how did I get E
completely potty trained by 18 months old? Read to find out! Beware, poop
ahead!
How long did it take
us?
So when you read a
lot of these toilet training how-tos, they tell you that it happened in 1 or 2
weeks. And although TECHNICALLY we started "toilet training" 2 weeks
before she was completely accident free,
I feel like I have to admit that it took us much longer, 18 months
longer in fact! We started getting E ready to use the toilet from the day
(okay, maybe a couple days after) she was born!
When I was pregnant
I listened to a podcast by Natural Birth and Baby about EC or Elimination
Communication. It was all about how some moms are choosing to not put their
babies in diapers at ALL and "listen" to their babies cues of when
they need to go to the toilet and holding them over the toilet.
Now, if I hadn't
just spent 6 months in China and seen this first hand, I would have thought
this was bonkers and totally impossible. However, it's true! I saw Chinese
babies go completely diaper free, and parents would almost instinctively know
when their babies had to go. Mothers all of the world use this method. Children
who are raised like this are reportedly completely toilet trained by the time
they can walk!
Do I have to go diaper free to do EC with my baby?
I loved the idea of
going diaper free, but alas, was not brave enough to do so! But I still loved
the idea of helping E stay as dry as possible, and save as many diapers as
possible, all while helping her to use the toilet, so we decided to try our own
modified version of EC. We still used diapers, but I resolved to take her to
the toilet when I discovered what her cues were. I began listening to E. I discovered she
LOVED to pee in a nice clean diaper! I began taking her to the toilet as SOON
as I changed her. If she peed while I
was holding her over the toilet (which she often did) I would make a little
sound "pssssssss!". Pretty soon, I could take her to the toilet at
any time I thought she needed to go (like after nursing) and say
"pssssssss!" and like magic, she'd go! She was doing this as early as
a few months old. She hardly ever pooed
in her diaper, as she preferred to do this in the toilet (finding the cue for a
baby who needs to poop is a LOT easier than pee, oh the faces they make!).
Don't you have to wait to start toilet training until
they can talk?
When she was born,
we began teaching E sign language. At first, things like "milk",
"mom" , "dad", "eat". Once she got the
"pssss" cue down, I began
using the sign for "toilet" too. I would say, "time to go to the
toilet!" (with the sign), and place her on the toilet and say "You're
on the toilet!" (signing toilet). Then I would say "psssss". Her
signing progressed but for months she never signed toilet! After she learned to
walk, I would encourage her to walk to the toilet herself, climb up and we
would continue to sign "toilet" even though she never signed it back.
This worked very
well for us. She would still have wet diapers, but for most of the time she was
dry, and hardly ever pooed in her diaper. She would even remain dry during her
naps.
The day she signed
to ME that she had to use the toilet, was the day we introduced her small
potty. I am in favor of using both a potty and a real toilet (with a seat for
small bums on top) for toilet training such small children. You want the to
feel as in control of the process as possible, and it was still very difficult
for E to climb up on the stool, remove her pants and sit down without falling.
So I wanted to give her something she could use ENTIRELY by herself, safely.
She had seen her small potty before, but I had put it away for ahwile because
she hadn't seemed to enjoy using it. But once I took it out this time she was
OBSESSED! ALL she wanted to do was sit on the toilet! I took this, in culmination with the fact she
had begun siging "toilet", she was walking, AND the other day she had
layed down on her changing table wanting me to change her, all as signs that
she was in the "sensitive period" for toilet training. What better time to teach her to use the
toilet when she thought it was fun?
Should I use
pull-ups or move straight to underwear?
We decided to do
away with diapers (during the day) and move straight to underwear that very
next day. We got those thick Gerber brand underwear (more absorbant in case of
accidents and came in the smallest sizes).
I have found that
moving straight into underwear creates the FASTEST transition possible (from my
experience toilet training dozens of children entering my preschool class).
They can actually feel themselves get wet (control of error), and see if
anything gets on the floor.
What does toilet
training an 18 month old look like?
Our regiment looked
a little like this:
Wake up, change into
underwear! "Ok E, time to use the toilet! Which one do you want to use?
The big on or the little one?" she'd choose, then I'd encourage her to
pull down her own underwear. I would help if she asked for it. She'd sit on the
toilet, pee (or not) and I'd say
"You did it! You put the pee in the toilet!" If not I'd say "No
pee this time, we'll try again later".
30 minute later, repeat. Take them EVERY 30 MINUTES!!!
If she had an
accident (which oddly enough there was only ONE the first day, but probably
10-15 the next day!!!! More about that further down) I would say "Uh oh!
Our underwear is wet. Let's put it in the hamper. Let's clean up the pee. We
want to pee in our toilet , so our underwear can stay dry". E would help
me put the soiled underwear in the hamper and she would help me clean up the
spill.
My advice is to ALWAYS use the toilet right
after the accident, as they usually end up stopping the flow when they realize
they are getting wet and will have another accident again soon if you don't
take them to the toilet. EVEN IF they release more urine onto the floor than
you thought possible for such a tiny human to contain, DO NOT BE FOOLED! There
is more…..so….much….more…..!
Don't you have to
use a sticker chart or treats to toilet train such a young child?
If you are familiar
with my blog, and have read the post "Beyond Reward and Punishment"
you won't be surprised to hear that I did NOT reward her in any way for peeing
in the toilet, nor did I punish her for accidents. In fact, the more E sensed I wanted her to go
into the toilet, the more she pushed back. The first day, when it was all so
new and fun, she had hardly any accidents. But the second day, she sensed
that's what I WANTED her to do and boy was it pee-palooza! Accidents
everywhere! I feel like rewards and
punishments would have greatly compounded that problem. E knows when she's
being controlled/manipulated and she PUSHES BACK.
When I sensed E and
I were having a power struggle with me about going to the toilet, I would cut
down on the praise. I would smile and talk to her, but not praise. If she
clapped for herself I would clap too.
My wonderful
mother-in-law also suggested going to the library and getting toilet training
books, and boy did that do the trick! We got every book on potty training I
could find. She loved it! She made me read them to her over and over and over.
She was fascinated to see something she was actually going through portrayed in
a book. There was even a small doll at the library with a little white potty
and E loved playing with this. I also
found that E really liked showing off, so if she wouldn't go to the toilet for
me when it was time, I would ask her to show the dog, daddy, the dolly , etc.
how to use the toilet. She loved it and would go every time! You know your
child best, and everyone is different. You'll find the tricks that work for
you.
You WILL want to
give up and retreat back to the dry, safe life of stinky diapers
There were a few
days where I was concerned that she was just not getting it. There were too
many accidents! I wondered if maybe I should stop. But we persevered, and after a few days
the accidents steadily decreased. We had to be diligent about taking her to the
bathroom every 30 minutes, but eventually E was telling me more and more when
she had to go. I also learned that even though I wanted E to have as much
choice as possible in the matter, sitting on the toilet or not (at least at
this stage) was NOT a choice. She could choose WHICH toilet to sit on, but she
had to at least try. Once her bum was on and she said "all done" we
would get off, but she had to at least sit. This was hard at first, but once
this became the rule, toilet training went SO MUCH BETTER! A week in, we even
braved running errands. She loved discovering that there were toilets wherever
you go!
The
sweet smell of success!
Toilet training E at
such a young age was such a rewarding experience. I think it boosted her
confidence amazingly. She loves wearing underwear and being a big girl. She'll
take herself to the toilet these days, rarely needing mommy or daddy to help
her (20 months old now) and it is super rare that we have an accident. It also
made me respect my daughter so much more for the capable, independent and
tenacious little girl she is.
My tips for toilet
training:
When to start?
- Start EC from birth! Get them used to sitting on the toilet RIGHT AWAY!
- Use the PSSSSSS command, it works like magic!
- Start toilet training when you notice dry diapers during nap time or holding pee longer
- Start walking them to the toilet when they can walk, helping them get on by themselvs
- Consider toilet training in earnest when:
- they are attempting to pull clothes on or off
- they can communicate with you when they are wet/need to go (this could be talking, signing, or even laying down on their changing pad when they are wet)
How to do it
- Get them a toilet they can use independently, whether it’s a potty, a step stool and a seat adjustment
- Get them OUT of diapers and INTO underwear, DO NOT GO BACK AND FORTH! This is extremely confusing for the child and results in more accidents
- Do it when you have 3 days or so at home with no errands to run
- Get lots of books at the library
- Take them every thirty minutes!
- Choose if you want to do diapers at night time (I feel like naptime is very doable at this age)
- Be consistent!
- Get a good stain remover for carpets!
- Sitting on the toilet or not during this phase is NOT a choice, they have to try! (but try to give them other choices, like which toilet to sit on, what underwear they can wear, etc.)
What NOT to do!
- Don't use rewards or punishments! Not having pee in your underwear and getting to wear underwear is reward enough!
- Don't go back and forth between diapers and underwear!
- Don't expect it to happen overnight, it takes awhile, but if you're consistent it WILL happen!
- Don't sing a lot of songs or play on the toilet, it is for doing business. If nothing happened after the first few minutes we got off and tried again later.
- Don't stress! This is a huge step for your little one, they need to feel you're confidence and that you believe in them!
And
that's that! All in all it took about 1 week to feel like we had it down pretty
good, another week before daily accidents disappeared. And E is super happy,
and so are we!
Do you have
any toilet training tips to share? Any experience or thoughts about EC?
